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During My Surgery I Think I Had A Conversation With A Dead Former Classmate
I had a lumpectomy I was put under what they called ‘conscious sedation’ instead of fully under which would’ve required me to be intubated, I was just placed on a C-pap machine. I had a portion of my breast removed, 2 milk ducts as well as my nipple. However when I was awaken by a nurse calling my name and simply saying “wake-up”! I asked was I talking when I was under, they all replied no, then I asked was I crying, again they many people helping me move from the operating table to the gurney replied, “No”! Yet I felt a tear streaming from my right eye which I wiped with my hand right in front of them. I can’t recall the entire conversation as a matter of fact I can’t recall any of it, I just know it was a woman, it was soothing, the conversation was comforting to me, I felt it. When I heard them telling me to wake up I didn’t want to leave the conversation, I think this is when I started crying, sadly I have to undergo the same surgery again in a few days, I’m scared to death!
I think that it was my friend from high school that recently died from covid complications but I’m unsure, it felt like it might have been her but I can’t recall the voice or what she said to me. It felt so real, it felt so comforting and I didn’t want it to ever end. I have been trying to figure out what happened how this could possibly be, I mean what really occurred during this operation. Was I really talking to anyone? A month has passed, I was waiting for memories to come back about what she said, what we spoke about, why can’t I remember more? I mean I know how good it felt talking, I know clearly it was a woman, a Black woman, there was not one Black woman in the operating room that day, I can almost feel her breath on my face as she spoke but I can’t picture her face. Why? I’m so nervous about the next surgery, maybe she was telling me something important that I was supposed to remember that I can’t even recall right now. I lay awake some nights trying to get this conversation back. I have been trying to research this yet I am not coming up with much I wonder if this has ever happened to anyone else before.
Was it just my brain playing a trick on my me? I don’t think I’ll ever know, maybe it was just a dream I had during this brief surgery.
