Women | Relationships | Humans of New York

Why Do Black Women Want Applauds For Putting Up With Shit Black Man?

When men no matter what their race leave Black women 10 times more often than Black women leave men

TB Obwoge
4 min readMay 18

Thursday, 18 May 2023

By: TB Obwoge

There is a page entitled ‘Humans of New York’, there Facebook page has 17 million likes and all 17 million follow the page, myself included.

One day there was a post that came across my TL (time-line) where a woman was talking about her high-school sweetheart. I will post the entire post so you can read it, then I will continue.

Authors Photo Headed into New York City

“We were high school sweethearts. He came up to me in the hallway one day and I said: absolutely not. I was an honor student. He was smoking weed, running around, getting in trouble. My parents moved our family away from the inner city for a reason — and it was to get away from all that. But I knew his family. I knew where he’d come from. And also: sometimes I can see things. I’d pay attention.

I’d watch him with his friends. And I could tell: this is not him. I knew he didn’t see himself in that space forever. And that’s been the most beautiful thing, of like, everything. Watching that transition. Seeing it all from the beginning: him figuring out that he was worthy of more. It took a while.

There were times he messed up, and I won’t make excuses for that. There were lulls. We’d date other people for a while, but every time he’d come back hard. And not just like: ‘I’m sorry, babe. Please take me back.’ He’d put in more effort. He’d grow. And now he’s gotten to a place where he has a much better understanding of his existence.

He’s a vegan. He meditates every day. And he’s very serious about it; he’s descriptive about the reasons he changed his life. A lot’s been thrown at him recently. Both of us work at underprivileged schools, which can be exhausting.

But I’ve seen him stay up for twenty-four hours, go to work, then come home and still be present. He’s a nurturing father. He’s a protector. It wasn’t always in him. But it’s in him now. And not to toot my own horn, but I saw it. What I saw…

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TB Obwoge

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